Oh, the trials and tribulations of teenagedom.

Oh the sense of needing to change yourself to fit the images in your head, of needing to be like the ones you adore.
I don't particularily wish to be like those that inspire me, myself, they are their own people and how could i intrude on that? But there is a certain amount of wanting to follow in their footsteps, although i don't know which to follow as they're all so different.
Oh the confusion of picking a path for your life, of finding a future to suit who you are now and who you might be.
This is my main problem most times, i think to myself i want to be this and i want to be that, but i never seek it to be so, i never stick it out til the end. My own indecisiveness may very well be my downfall.
Oh the decisions of youth, of times where you have no idea what life is like, because you simplay haven't lived it.
Oh to be young, at least in mind, but i think too much, i stress too much about my life and where it's going, i think to myself, awake in my bed, what do i want to do? who do i want to be? and every night it's a different answer. i'm too freespirited to know how to settle into something solid.
Oh the freespiritedness of the golden years, of the nights when there's nothing but you and the stars on a warm summers evening.
If i could ever be so free again, i would, most certainly, but i fear those days have come and gone. The times for midnight swimming and early morning talking has pasted me by, only stopping in for a quick flirt. Then leaving me alone, so very alone.
Oh the lonliness of myself, of my mind, body and soul at this time of my life.
A lonliness which grows deeper everyday, and more painful every second. Oh to be young and in love.

The lies come too easily

I'm lying to someone i hold dear.
I can't really help it i value the friendship more than the truth, but it's becoming to easy.
my dakota knows not of what i do, i lied about who he is. this is so non-sensical.
i dont want him to end up like the last. who doesn't talk to me.
oh fml.


oh a happier note, my hair is clean.

never shout never!

nsn is my favourite. lyrical genius. somehow every song relates to me. i don't get it. b'cos the songs have nothing to do with my life really. but somehow i manage to get something from all of them. oh how i love Christofer Drew Ingle. i wanna be like him when i'm older. he's my absolute idol (bar Tim Burton). losing it is playing in my ears at the moment and it's amazing.
oh the amazingness of it all. his songs give me butterflies and make me so happy. hahahahaha happy. oh the irony.
anywho
LOL